The teenage
years is a very difficult period not only for you as the parent but for
you teenager as well. Most parents would ask how to deal with stubborn teenagers since this age is really where independence and individuality
is cultivated. But you need not worry about this stage, a lot of parents
have gone through their child's own teenage years and most of them have
actually succeeded.
Here are some hints on how to deal with stubborn teenagers:
One
way to deal with stubborn teenagers is to listen very carefully – most
parents are not aware of it, but stubborn teenagers can actually result
from stubborn parents. After puberty, most kids think they are already
adults ready to face the world; luckily, parents are wise enough to know
that this is not true. However, parents may think too little of their
teens to a point that they still treat them as kids whose ideas are just
kid stuff.
The truth of the matter is, the teenager is more
mature than kids, albeit still not mature enough – this means that your
teenager may have something to say about themselves or the way they wish
to be treated. Listen to what they say first before saying what you
think. Oftentimes, parents just stubbornly and automatically deflect
anything their teens have to say, this in turn makes the teenager just
act like their stubborn parents and become stubborn teenagers.
When
stubborn teenagers give their perspective, acknowledge it even if you
do not agree. It is important for stubborn teenagers to know that you
have heard their opinion on things. But you do not necessarily have to
follow it or agree with it, after all, in most cases, your teen may just
be asking for your advice or if you have other ideas in mind. After
acknowledging your teen's idea it is then you can say what you think
should be.
To deal with stubborn teenagers, imagine yourself in
your teenager's shoes. You were also a teenager years or decades ago and
you should know how difficult such times were. But do not dwell too
much on your own experiences because your teen is probably facing
different challenges in life. A lot of parents say things like "I know
better because I have been there" in hopes of preventing their children
from doing something. But that is actually an invitation for the child
to be even more curious of such circumstances.
Another way to
deal with stubborn teenagers is to avoid making use of labels when
talking to your child, especially during arguments. Labels might sound
meaningless when you blurt them out, but they can easily get into your
teenager's mind whether the label is positive or negative. It is
important to allow your teenager to let him or her self be without
labels being attached. Otherwise, stubbornness might stem from your
teenager's effort to veer away from the labels.
Try to avoid
debating with your child about matters of opinion. Even if debates occur
to convince a party of your opinion, what it actually does is to
strengthen the other party's hold on their opinion as both of you create
reasons for believing your stand. In this case it is better to show why
your opinion might be better and allow your teenager to see for himself
or herself what makes you think you are right.
Stubbornness is
somewhat inevitable for teenagers, but it might actually be a necessary
trait at this point where they are developing their identities. What
matters is that you are there for them at this critical stage with much
love and understanding. With an open mind and a sound heart you would be
able to know how to deal with stubborn teenagers.
Did you know
that there are simple but amazing methods for raising teenage kids?
Raising your teen doesn't have to be an ordeal (for either of you).
Learn how you can enjoy a calm, peaceful, and fulfilling relationship
with your teen. Discover how to deal with stubborn teenagers visit Teen Repair
